


Dating, But in Secret!

by jamesm97



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Abby Comes Back To Get Buck, Abusive Parents, Angry Eddie Diaz, Bad Parenting, Bisexual Eddie Diaz, Bisexual Evan "Buck" Buckley, But Eddie Won't Let Her, Coming Out, Dad Evan "Buck" Buckley, Dating, Drunken Kissing, Friends to Lovers, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jealous Eddie Diaz, Jealous Evan "Buck" Buckley, M/M, Meeting the Parents, Not Beta Read, Protective Eddie Diaz, Protective Evan "Buck" Buckley, Protective Maddie Buckley, Worried Eddie Diaz
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:34:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23659939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamesm97/pseuds/jamesm97
Summary: When Eddie kissed him, they’d both been drunk, it’d been a long shift and Christopher was at a sleepover and they had 80 hours before they had to be back on shift, so it seemed like the perfect plan. Getting drunk that is not the kissing, that… well, that wasn't planned.Dealing with a new relationship can be hard but add in the fucked up past of one Evan Buckley and things get complicated fast... can whatever he and Eddie are becoming survive it?
Relationships: Athena Grant/Bobby Nash, Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Henrietta "Hen" Wilson/Karen Wilson, Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Comments: 14
Kudos: 126





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [red_to_black](https://archiveofourown.org/users/red_to_black/gifts).



> Don't know if this is any good but let me know if you think I should keep going.
> 
> Also work is gifted to red_to_black for writing my favourite Buddie fic ever Tethers which can be found here https://archiveofourown.org/works/22309606/chapters/53286970 every time I read I get inspired to write tonnes and since the whole corona lockdown I've not had the motivation to do anything so thanks for that and keep up the good work can't wait till the next chapter!

When Eddie kissed him, they’d both been drunk, it’d been a long shift and Christopher was at a sleepover and they had 80 hours before they had to be back on shift, so it seemed like the perfect plan. Getting drunk that is not the kissing, that… well, that wasn't planned.

Buck had kissed him back though because it seemed like the most natural thing to do and they’d both laughed when they had eventually pulled back, neither one of them discussed it again for the rest of the night.

But it kept happening.

At first, it was only when they were drinking one of them and at this point, it wasn't possible to ascertain which one initiated the kisses anymore, however, as time went on it happened more and more eventually progressing to kisses without the excuse of alcohol to hide behind and Buck became more and more confused the more they kissed.

The first sober kiss was a kiss goodbye when Eddie was showing Buck out after a movie night with Christopher a quick peck of lips that wasn't really anything but had Buck's pulse racing as if they'd made out for ten minutes without oxygen all the same. When Eddie pulled back with a smile and said 'Night Buck' he could only nod back dumbly and made his way to his car his mind spinning.

The second sober kiss was a kiss of sheer relief for Buck and for Eddie, it was a kiss to thank god as he kept mumbling in between the kisses it was a stolen moment when the team couldn't see because Buck had almost died in a fucking building collapse, hadn't answered the call on his radio to respond for a solid five minutes.

The scene wasn't there scene to run they were helping out another station due to a massive high rise collapsing it had become unstable and it was an all hands on deck situation after twenty minutes scanning the building it became clear the structure wasn't stable and all firefighters were forced to evacuate, Eddie had lost sight of Buck as soon as they'd gone in due to the sheer amount of firefighters responding to the scene and he cussed every deity under the sun until Buck the last man out of the building  
because that's the way Buck rolled all the freaking time, he'd stumbled out of the rubble two kids under his arms full of dust and debris looking like the cat that got the fucking cream.

They had kissed plenty of times after that always stolen moments or moments of quiet when it was just the two of them and they had still yet to say anything about them, and usually Buck loved living in a state of denial and if it meant that he and Eddie kept up the kissing he was willing to keep doing it.

The ninth sober kiss was to say hello when Eddie made his way into Buck's apartment with takeout in hand and something snapped in Buck's mind his mind had been warring with him for the past week and he'd agreed the way forward was 'don't ask and it won't go away' but the thoughts in the back of his head of this being more eventually won out.

Buck had closed his eyes and froze on the spot as Eddie made his way inside, Buck’s mind couldn’t be silenced as he mentally counted seven drunk kisses and nine sober kisses within three months it was obvious there was something between them or they were attracted to each other at the very least best friends didn't kiss like this for no good reason. He opened his eyes with a sigh hating himself for what he was about to say and probably ruining whatever this was, he turned to face Eddie who hadn't noticed his pause in the doorway or the internal struggle he was having the older man was just babbling to himself as he got plates out the cabinet Buck knew he had to say something now or he’d never say anything and the kisses were getting too much for him to handle.

“What are we doing?” He questions.

"Eating takeout? Playing that new Animal Crossing game, you bought? This was your idea remember? You messaged me to come over and told what takeout to bring, which whilst we're on the subject this is the fifth time we're having Chinese food and don't get me wrong you know I love Chinese but if we don't change it up and get a pizza or some Mexican soon I'm going to get sick of it" Eddie tells him frowning whilst pausing in his attempt to put the fried rice on a plate.

"I meant this kissing thing," Buck says his voice low.

“Oh, I’m not really sure, it just feels...” Eddie shrugs trailing off.

“Right?” Buck finished for him.

“Yeah” Eddie nods beaming.

“So are we just kissing each other or are we kissing other people?" Buck asks suddenly nervous as he walks forward and leans down on the kitchen island.

"Are you asking if we're dating?" Eddie laughs.

“I mean would that be so bad?” Buck shrugs.

"We can date but it's got to stay a secret," Eddie tells him moving forward to put his hand on Buck’s shoulder.

Buck’s eyes close and he lets out a harsh sigh so close to getting what he’s wanted since they first started this drunk kissing but not the way he’d imagined it.

“At least keep it a secret for now” Eddie amends moving his hand to Buck’s chin and nudging his face up with one finger to make the younger man look at him “I’ve only ever had a drunken hook up with another man before and I've never been in a relationship with one so I need time, not that that will be a problem for us we were practically married before I drunkenly kissed you, I know I like you and the thought of being with you scares the hell out of me but it's the good kind of scared where you're scared of losing that person, but I need time to make sure this is what we both want and I get if it's selfish butthis is new and scary so I hope you can understand that i'm not ready to jump straight into this all out in the open, I'd need to tell Chris and my family before I even think about going public and it would be the same with a woman i'd introduce them to Christopher before I told any of my friends so it's not just because your a man, then on top of that we have to find out if us being together would affect us at work," Eddie tells him getting more and more worked up as he goes on.

"Chill Eddie" Buck laughs leaning forward to kiss him on the lips and shut the older man up. "I think that's the most words I've ever heard you speak at once" Buck snorts "We can date first, keep it secret I get the other stuff is stressful, I've done stuff with men as well but I've never dated one so I get where you’re coming from it's scary I just know I like you and I had to ask to make sure that this wouldn't remain a dirty little secret but if you promise we won't have to hide it forever if we decide that it's what we both want then I'd love to take you on a date" 

"If we date and want to continue this I promise we won't hide forever," Eddie tells him looking into his eyes the promise ringing true with every word he speaks as he leans forward to kiss him again they pull away and Eddie mumbles 'fuck it' and dives forward to capture Buck's lips again.

"You know it's a relief to be able to be able to kiss you whenever I want now, I want to kiss you all the damn time when this started I kissed you hello and goodbye but I never did it more than one at a time because I was petrified you'd tell me to stop it," Eddie tells him breathless from the kiss.

"Like that would ever happen look at you" Buck snorts his eyes raking over Eddie and it was then that Buck realized what he was wearing and let out a loud snort. "Actually I take that Back what the hell are you wearing Diaz?"

"Early Christmas present off Christopher it's December 1st and he insisted that Christmas PJ's must be worn for the entirety of December to get the full Christmas experience, he had it hidden at Abuela's house and gave me it when I dropped him off made me put it on before I left, what do you think?" he asks stepping back putting the hood up and grinning at Buck.

It was a solid white onesie the hood had two black eyes, a nose and two little black ears with a Santa hat on top, Buck let out another laugh as he realizes why Chris chose this particular onesie.

"It's a polar bear because his favourite Christmas film is..."

"Polar express I know we watched it twenty-seven times last Christmas, it's cute, it screams Carla's doing though" Buck laughs. 

"I am so glad you just said that because Chris bought himself one and you too because he wanted us all to match when you come over this Christmas like you did last year" Eddie gives him a smirk going over to one of the bags and pulling out a badly wrapped lump that has Buck's lips twitching into a smile and his heart clenching when he thinks of how much he loves that little man. "You better go put it on he wants proof in the form of photographs" 

"Luckily, I look hot in everything isn't it," Buck says pretending to roll his eyes but he doesn't think he fools Eddie.

"When you say stuff like that I usually say you're not as hot as you think you are just to mess with you but now we've agreed to go on a date I don't know it's acceptable to put you down in case you call it off," Eddie says and buck can tell he's making fun.

“I wouldn't risk it if I was you Diaz you're getting old I might be your last chance to have kids" Buck jokes and is surprised when Eddie blushes looking down at the floor, he files away that reaction for a later date so he can tear it apart and freak out about it.

"If you're able to get pregnant maybe we should be having a conversation about that" Eddie says playfully.

"Hillarious" Buck rolls his eyes "Get the food ready before it gets cold and I'll go put these on" he grabs the present from Eddie's hands giving him a peck on the lips as he makes his escape to the bathroom.

When he closes the door he sinks back heavily and lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding, he catches sight of himself in the mirror and he watches the smile that lights up his face as he thinks about what just happened when he'd thought about confronting Eddie about what this was between them and he had thought about it a lot over the past few weeks he'd not let himself think he could have more than friends with benefits but dating was better than anything he'd been able to imagine.

They're friends first and they've been each other's rocks for a while now dating just feels like a natural progression and yet he can't get the sinking feeling inside to go away that Eddie's not going to stick around that he won't be enough to warrant Eddie to go through all the motions of coming out just so he can date him, what's he got to give that could make Eddie possibly alienate his family for?

He sighs to himself trying to push the fear down as he strips out of his clothes to his boxers and socks, he rips open the wrapping paper and smirks at the matching polar bear onesie he finds inside, he makes quick work in getting it out the packaging and throwing it on looking at himself in the mirror and he can't wait to send Chris a picture of him and Eddie wearing these it'll make the little one's night.

He can't help but think about Eddie and how he accidentally found something so good with him when he wasn't looking for him how the universe managed to put him in the same station as Buck and he's thankful for that, the word serendipity comes to mind, he'd hated him because he was hotter than him at first but they'd become fast friends they'd had their ups and downs but they'd fought to get where they were now.

He just hopes dating makes them something more something stronger than they are now and it doesn't ruin what they have now forever.


	2. Suprise

They drove into work together the next day and they both couldn’t stop staring at each other.

Buck would take his eyes off the road and catch Eddie staring who looked away quickly laughing.

“What?” Buck chuckles.

"Nothing," Eddie says raising his hands to try and convey his innocence.

They're pulling into the parking lot outside the station when Buck catches him staring again, he's got the dopiest grin covering his face.

"Okay seriously what is it, do I have syrup from breakfast on my face or what?" Buck asks wiping his face.

"No, just thinking about how cute you look and how hard it's going to be to not kiss you especially after last night" 

"All's we did was kiss a few times, played games and ate," Buck tells him confused.

"We cuddled and slept too" Eddie counters.

"Is that was has you all giddy? Spooning me? Because if it makes you this happy then feel free to do it all the time" Buck snorts.

"Don't tempt me" Eddie growls playfully, Bucks about to say fuck it and lean in and kiss him when a bang on his window makes them both jump in their seats.

He turns to look out of his driverside window and see's Chimney with his mouth all over his window makes a funny face his nasty tongue leaving slobber on it.

Buck reaches over and presses the button to roll down his window it tugs at Chim's lip and he pulls away quickly rubbing his lip.

"You're cleaning that" Buck warns when the windows down a little before rolling it back up.

Eddie and Buck exchange a sigh and hop out the car, Eddie reaching into the back first to grab their bags trowing Buck his own when they start walking to the station, Chim on their heels talking about the weekend in the cabin they've got planned in two weeks.

"I swear Maddie and I need this break, four full days of no work, no stress, nobody dying and no kids it's going to be the best," Chim tells them waving to Adams from the late crew as they make their way into the changing room.

"You don't have any kids Chim" Buck points out.

"I meant you guys and Hen," Chim tells him making a scoffing sound.

"I don't have kids either" Buck points out.

"Because you are one" Eddie and Chim say at the same time and Buck doesn't know who to glare at first, probably Eddie for the betrayal, they're dating now or will be soon and he's supposed to have Buck's back not make fun of him, even if they both have a point.

"I think you guys are forgetting that Bobby isn't coming on this trip" Buck points out his smile of superiority coming out in full force.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Eddie frowns.

"The only thing Maddie can cook is spaghetti, you Eddie burn toast and Chim if we even let you near the stove the cabin would burn down" 

"Yeah, maybe but Hen's coming and she can cook," Chimney says seeing where his mind was going "Well it's edible at least" He adds as an afterthought.

"She said she's on full vacation mode and isn't lifting a finger this trip so unless you want to live off chips and dip for four days you better be nice to me" Buck warns.

"We could just take our cars and drive into the little town that's like twenty minutes away and find a diner or something" Eddie counts and Buck does shoot him a look of betrayal.

"Etu Edmundo?" Buck says doing his best to glare but the fake telenovela style Spanish voice he put on lessens the intensity.

Eddie's eyes darken slightly and Buck files that away for future reference doesn't know if it's the use of his full first name or speaking slightly Spanish that did that to the older man further research needs to be done.

Chim starts on about things they're taking to the cabin as they all get changed, Card's against humanity, clue, monopoly, playing cards and tones of alcohol by the sound of it.

"So I'll handle the entertainment and the beverages if you and Eddie sort the transport and food for the hopefully soon to be yearly 118 getaway," Chim says as they leave the changing room.

"It's not a 118 thing if you invited my sister Chim" Buck points out.

"I couldn't not invite her she was the one that found us the cabin, what was I supposed to say thanks for finding this awesome place for me and my buddies to get drunk in for four days she's friends with you guys too" 

"So is Karen but Hen isn't bringing her" Buck points out.

"Because Karen is taking Denny to see her parents for a few days when we go" Chim defends.

"Maybe we should give Chim a break it's sweet that he wants to spend time with the team and his significant other" Eddie says giving Buck a look that has his eyebrows rising in confusion.

"Thank you Eddie" Chim laughs smacking Buck on the back of his head.

"Besides if you get a significant other by the next trip I'm sure Chim would gladly let you invite them along" 

"Oh hell no, Buck has slept on my couch and there's only so much of him getting off I can put up with," Chim says and makes a beeline for the coffee pot.

"It was one time with one girl" Buck cries out in outrage.

"That is one too many Buckaroo," Chim tells him pausing to fill his mug "I had to burn my couch" 

"Oh for the love of god I told you it wasn't what you thought it was" Buck cries out moving forward to steal Chim's coffee the older man doesn't even complain just makes himself another one.

"I highly doubt that the stain on my couch wasn't your..." 

"Don't finish that sentence, I'm eating and if I hear about what I think that was I'm suing you all for being inappropriate in the workplace?" Bobby says from his seat at the kitchen island he catches Buck wince at the mention of suing and shoots him an apologetic smile.

"You didn't have to buy a brand new couch Bobby" Chim sighs.

"Neither did you those couch covers were removable" Buck snorts.

"Thank god we've got the wonderful Buck 2.0, or is it 3.0 now? Who's all about deep connection and meaningful relationship" Chim teases clapping Buck on the shoulder as he moves to sit with Bobby.

"It's actually Buck 9.75" 

"Do not tell me you just told us your dick size?" Chim says gagging, Bobby chokes on his cinnamon roll.

"No!" Buck practically screams before making an assessing noise "Or it could be I've never measured but I was referring to my crus injury, I told myself every time I woke up was an upgrade" 

"That's sweet," Bobby says then after a pause adds "The way to look at each day as a gift thing, not the penis size thing that's just inappropriate, it's like catching my son doing something he shouldn't, I have pictures in my head that I need to get rid of," she says shivering.

"Besides it's wildly untrue" Chim scoffs.

"You know Chim, Maddie tells me everything? I'm like the sister she never has and she loves to overshare stuff" 

Chim's eyes widen and he almost falls out of his chair in his haste to grab his phone he runs towards the pinball machine and has his phone to his ear in record time.

"She doesn't actually tell you anything about them right?" Eddie questions Bobby looks at them wanting to know the answer as well.

"You think I'd ever let Maddie tell me anything like that, he's just so easy to wind up" 

"Why does Chimney look like he's about to have an aneurysm?" Hen says smirk on her face as she races up the stairs staring over at her partner.

"Buck winding him up" Eddie answers.

"Nice one Buckaroo" Hen snorts.

They watch as Chim has a conversation with Maddie starting worked up but ending on his shoulders relaxing the alarm blurs and Chim ends his call quickly.

"You're a dick" He calls as he rushes to join them going down the stairs.

"Just wait till we're in that cabin and you even think about having sex with my sister" Buck warns and Chim actually goes white.

Eddie starts cackling as they make their way to throw on their gear.

"We wouldn't do that" Chim shouts after their retreating backs.

"Sure you wouldn't Chim let's go," Hen says pushing him to the driver's side of the ambulance.

Buck just shares a look with Eddie snorting he loves this place and the people in it wouldn't trade it for the world.

Okay maybe wouldn't trade it for the world isn't the right thing to say because at times like these, when they have back to back calls and the sun is beating down on them whilst they wear the worlds hottest clothes, barely have time to eat let alone shower before they're back out on another call, he would totally trade his job just for three hours back in his bed on days like today.

The calls eventually stop around 8 pm or at least happen in another stations range, Bobby makes them shower and promises to cook a quick simple dinner for them, Buck knows quick and simple means something like spaghetti bolognese with garlic bread and his mouth salivates at the thought.

He catches sight of Eddie's naked ass leaving the shower and his mouth goes suddenly dry, Eddie catches him staring and winks at him.

Buck blushes furiously and keeps his eyes down as he gets out of his own shower and makes his way to get changed.

"Jesus Buck how hot did you have the shower your entire body is red" Chim points it out.

"I need it after all those calls today my aches have aches, I also have these..." Buck says turning to show his back to the guys, his hand firmly on his towel around his waist.

Eddie sucks in a hiss of breath and Chim lets out a whistle as he takes in Buck's back.

"How the hell did you do that?" Eddie questions reaching out a finger and pressing a bruise Buck flinches away like Eddie's hand was on fire letting out a small 'ouch' "Sorry Buck" 

"No problem," Buck says turning around to meet Eddie's gaze the bruises hurt but having Eddie's hands on his naked skin felt good and he didn't want to allow 'little Buck' to like it especially with Chim there whilst he's got a flimsy towel wrapped around him.

"Get your pants on but keep the shirt off let me check you over int he ambulance, see if anything feels bad or if it just needs some arnica ointment and some aspirin" Chim instructs and Buck just nods getting his boxers on under the towel.

"How did that happen?" Eddie questions once they're almost fully dressed.

"I think it might have been when we were getting the women out of the apartment fire this morning a bit of the ceiling collapsed and I rushed to get under the door jam but some of the debris caught me in the back, I didn't feel it at the time was too amped up and we've not had a chance to relax all day but it's been twinging with pain every time we got back in the ladder truck and I leaned back, it's just a little bruise, could do with a good massage though my back is seriously screaming out for some loving" Buck sighs.

"Come with me so I can make sure you haven't actually broken your back" Chim sighs leading him away to the ambulance.

"I think I would know if my back was broken" Buck laughs.

"Actually you'd be surprised Buckaroo, people think a massive trauma or a fall is what causes a broken back or a fracture in the back when it's common for someone to perhaps bend down to put something in the dishwasher or someone steps off a sidewalk a little hard and if it puts an additional load on their spin and can weaken the bones and then if the weakened bone is not adequate to take that load the next time it can just collapse, I don't think you've broken it though you're walking fine and the bruising isn't near the spine it's around your the outer edges of your Latissimus dorsi muscle"

"My what?" Buck asks face scrunching in confusion as he jumps into the ambulance Chim following.

"Your love handles Buck" Chim sighs grabbing his hips and his thumbs tracing a wide arch on his back "That's the Latissimus dorsi muscle, this is your spine the bruising is here, here and here," Chim says pressing where the bruising is Buck wincing a little but it's not that bad he's hand worse, if anything was broken you'd know and the bruising would be much worse" Chim promises grabbing some gloves and grabbing the ointment.

"Chim," Buck says and he gets a humming sound of acknowledgment off him "Thanks for helping but if you ever say I've got love handles again I will shave your eyebrows off when you next fall asleep in the bunks" Buck smirks when Chim looks up.

"Don't worry the last thing anyone thinks when they look at you is fat" Chim laughs getting to work rubbing the ointment onto the bruises. "You're best getting some anti-inflammatory pills instead of aspirin," Chim says as he moves onto the next bruise.

"I have some in my locker" Buck sighs after the initial shock of pain and once they've been pressed a few times the soothing rubbing motion actually starts to feel nice he really needs a massage.

"Excuse me, ma'am, can I help you?" Eddie's voice says he sounds close to the ambulance Buck looks out the open door but can't see him.

"I'm looking for Evan Buckley?" another voice asks and Buck stiffens, rising off the gurney and jumps out the open ambulance doors.

"Buck?" Chim asks his hand full of ointment paused in the air from where Buck had escaped.

"Can I tell him who's asking?" Eddie asks and Buck sees them as soon as he steps off and looks to the left just near the driver's side of the ambulance.

"Abby?" Buck asks with a frown, the older woman looks up and gives Buck a beaming smile makes her way around Eddie and throws her arms around Buck's waist hugging him tight he winces as she presses on the bruises he catches sight of Eddie looking between them the smile he had been wearing slowly making it's way into an unhappy frown as he realizes who the woman is.

Buck's stood there frozen captured in a hug from his ex-girlfriend as Eddie retreats to the changing rooms.


End file.
